Lines: It’s a big part – line count is the second highest at 155 and she is on stage for most of the show.
Gender: Female
Age: Young adult/older teen
Description: Dot is the show’s heroine and lead character. As we’re in a parody of The Wizard of Oz, think Judy Garland as Dorothy…
However, mid show, she falls under the witch’s spell and is transformed into ‘Bad Dot,’ a surly, unpleasant character…
Costumes: Two; a dowdy monochrome outfit for scene 1 and then a more colourful costume…
Singing? Yes – “Follow the A64” as part of the team, and her big “I’m Dot” song.
Dancing: No, but may be required to join in ensemble numbers.
Act 1 Scene 1 – opening scene
Histamine: (To audience) Hello everybody! (looks at Dot. To audience again), I’ll be with you in a minute! (to Dot) Is that a new phone?
Dot: Yes. Kind of. I bought it secondhand from Charlie Johnson. It doesn’t work.
Histamine: Oh Dot! Charlie Johnson is a crook. You’re too trusting. People take advantage of you! If someone came along selling magic beans you’d probably buy them.
Dot: Oh Auntie, wouldn’t it be great to climb a beanstalk to find a magical land?
Histamine: Not in this show, love.
Dot: (puts phone away) I think the wi fi is down anyway. It’s probably the storm.
Histamine: It’s one of those big ones with a name. They’re calling it Storm Boris. It’s wild and chaotic with lots of wind and is likely to cause long term damage.
Dot: At least it’s exciting. Nothing exciting happens around here.
Histamine: I’m afraid we live in a very boring place. The walls are grey, the sky is grey, even my socks are grey…although of course my hair is naturally this colour.
Dot: Oh auntie (stands) don’t you just yearn for a more colourful life, away from this place? A magical place of joy and laughter and song, a place of love and happiness?
Histamine: Well, there’s a bus to Leeds in half an hour.
Dot: There must be a place for us somewhere….somewhere over the….over the (music swells, she is about to burst into song, but H interrupts)
Histamine: Hang on! Where’s the cat?
Dot: Tiddles! I’m not sure. I do hope she’s not outside when the storm hits. She’s such a beautiful sweet snuggly pussy cat. (they begin to look around)
Histamine: Well perhaps there are some boys and girls here who might help us call the cat, will you do that? [Gets audience to shout ‘ Tiddles! Tiddles!’)
[Eventually Dot finds the ‘cat’ offstage; it’s a toy cat but importantly it’s realistic looking, and coloured like the human-sized cat costume we will eventually see. Dot holds it like a real cat and strokes it. The audience is encouraged to say aaaah]
Dot: Ooos a beautiful little puddy tat then? Its you isn’t it? Yes it is. Look at your beautiful little nose and your cute little whiskers. I think you’re the loveliest cat in the whole wide world.
Hist (looking offstage) It’s pooped on your bed again.
Dot: Oh naughty Tiddles!
Histamine: I think it’s that new cat food. [picks up box, reads] new improved pussy pudding. Ingredients – big fish – little fish – all in a card board box.
Dot: Oh, I love the advert for that, how does it go again?
[Big fish little fish cardboard box music plays and characters do the hand gestures dance routine]
Act 2 scene 2: Bad Dot
Dot (waking up): Oh my goodness what has happened? Where am I? Oh hello, nice to meet you.
Grismarelda: Oh no, that won’t do. You’re much too nice my dear. Let’s fix that. (waves wand)
Dot: (has become an obnoxious ‘cool’ teen. We can amend her dialogue here during rehearsals, she can make comments depending on costume etc) Oh hey grandma who let you out of the freakshow? Nice hairdo, do the birds nest in that?
Grismarelda: (delighted) ah that’s more like it! I said, not so pretty now are you?
Dot: Hashtag ironic. I’ve seen scarecrows with better skincare.
Grismarelda: Hahaha (laughs but is not sure whether it’s funny – she likes the fact Dot has been made ‘bad’ but is not used to the insults)
Dot: Do you have a cigarette? Like I know it’s like bad but whatever it looks cool.
Grismarelda: No.
Dot: (Has tantrum) Oh my God, do you have any idea how hard it is to look this hot and not have a cigarette? I need to accessorise! You just don’t understand.
Grismarelda: Hmm. When it’s feeding time I think you can join the demonkeys. (yawns) All this magic has tired me out. I’ll just go and powder my nose before I come back for a snooze.
Dot: Loser.
Witch thinks about waving her wand to silence/punish Dot but has second thoughts before exiting. Igor checks she’s gone.
Igor (to Dot): Careful or you’ll get yourself zapped! I’ve seen her turn people into cockroaches for less than that! You’re lucky she’s tired and low on magic! I’ll be right back. (exit Igor)
Dot: Like I care.
(Enter Histamine and Robot).
Histamine: Dot! Mr Tramp! We’ve come to rescue you!
Dot: Oh right. I thought you were delivering pizza.
Histamine: Dot! What has she done to you?!
Dot: She’s, like, made me a badass through magic and stuff.
Histamine: Oh no! Not my poor sweet Dotty!
Dot: Deal with it.
Song: I’m Dot
It’s lovely to be lovely and it’s nice to be so nice
But sometimes being so goody good is not such good advice
Some people took advantage like I was born yesterday
But something’s changed and suddenly I’m confident to say….
I’m Dot
And I know what’s what
I used to be a pushover but now I’m not
I’m Dot
Now I’m running hot
People think they know me but they don’t know squat
They used to say I was a doormat, people stepped on me
But from now on they’ll have to treat me differently
They better tread carefully
I’m Dot
You want what I got
If you want to test me, give it your best shot
I’m Dot
I’m easy to spot
Now you know my story I won’t lose the plot
They used to say I was so innocent but so naïve
I smoulder now I’m bolder, oh the life I can achieve
You better believe
I’m Dot
Baby I’ve grown
I’m Dot
Now I’m in the zone
I’m Dot
I won’t buy a broken phone
D.O.T. Spells Dot!
ORIGINAL PITCH
PITCH PLUS 2
PITCH PLUS 4
PITCH PLUS 6
PITCH MINUS 2
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