Scene 14 – The Wizard

Wizard: Who dares to approach me?

Dot: I’m Dot, this is my Auntie, this is Rob Ot, Mr Tramp, Igor and Tiddles the cat.

Wizard: And what do you want?

Dot: We were hoping you would allow us to use the Wish-come-true-a-tron. We all have wishes but we’re especially hoping to give Santa his memory back and fix Christmas!

Wizard: Hahahahaha! Everyone wants that.

Tramp: Really? It sounds rather specific.

Wizard: I mean everyone wants to use my Wish-come-true-a-tron.

Histamine: (Aside, to Dot) He sounds strangely familiar.

Dot: Shhh!

Wizard: I can’t just let anyone get a wish. You must complete a quest, and only if you succeed will I allow you to use my machine.

Dot: Of course, whatever you ask!

Wizard: My quest is dangerous. Many have tried and failed. Only the bravest and purest of heart can take it on. Are you prepared to risk all in pursuit of your goal? Are you willing to give your lives?

Dot: Yes!

Histamine: Hang on….

Dot: Shh! We accept! What is your quest, o great wizard!

Wizard: Very well. Your quest is to find the great witch Grismerelda, discover the source of her power and neutralise it! Only then will you be deemed worthy!

Histamine: Oh, we did that.

Wizard: What?

Histamine: Yes, we did that earlier this afternoon.

Wizard: What… really?

Dot: Yep.

Wizard: Her power is gone?

Dot: Yep.

(Pause)

Wizard: Er… just let me check.

(A pause. An awkward silence all round.)

Wizard: Well I never. You’re right, her magic is no longer in the land. That being the case… I suppose I will allow you to use the Wish-come-true-a-tron!

All: Yay! Woohoo etc.

Wizard: You may use it one at a time. You must enter the machine here (points to one side) and when the machine is done, you will exit here (points to the other side). While the machine is working, you must sing the Wish-come-true-a-tron song, which goes like this: