Lines: Zbing has 43, Zbong has 42 lines, but some are optional and dependent on the humans they encounter.
Gender: Any
Age: Any
Description: Green aliens on a mission to probe humans, who are clearly incompetent. Falsetto high pitched expressive voices (NOT metallic monotone voices, to make them differ from the Robot). Must be comfortable doing crowd work as their big scene is all audience interaction.
Costumes: TBA. They’ll have some sort of probing device (I’m imagining something like hoover hose attachements)
Singing? No
Dancing: No
Audition: scene 6
ZBING: I think that’s enough probing.
ZBONG: does that mean we can go back to the flying saucer?
ZBING: No! We can’t go back without the robot. We will be in big trouble.
ZBONG: You mean YOU will be in big trouble.
ZBING: We’re a team! You remember what they taught us in zbeeegle academy.
ZBONG: (reciting) When two Zbeegles engage in multifunctional quorflorbing, the spingbozillforb dictates a quasilateral nutriflox, even if the third mini humphlaprill is non-praximodal.
ZBING: Exactly!
ZBONG: I’ve no idea what it means though.
ZBING: It means we’re both in big trouble!
ZBONG: Is it really that bad?
ZBONG: Yes! If you bring a bloody great robot to a planet, you have to take it home with you
ZBONG: It’s not my fault it broke down.
ZBING: Yes it is!
ZBONG: No it isn’t.
ZBING: Yes it is!
ZBONG: No it isn’t!
ZBING: You lost the key, didn’t you?
ZBONG: A bird took it!
ZBING: A bird?
ZBONG: A big flappy thing they have on this planet. It swooped down and off it went with the key in its mouth.
ZBING: Well that’s still careless.
ZBONG: Sorry.
ZBING: So where is the robot?
ZBONG: I hid it!
ZBING: You hid it?
ZBONG: Yes. I have hidden it so that no human will ever find it!
ZBING: Are you sure?
ZBONG: Yes! I did a course in hiding things at the Zbeegle academy. I can categorically state that our robot is undetectable!
ZBING: Well, if you’re sure…
ZBONG: Undetectable! Nobody will ever find it!